June 5th, 1944
I do not know where to begin.
I suppose for starters, I am no longer at the facility. I am free from the torment of captivity and I
suppose technically speaking, I am a Deserter.
Though, to be brutally honest, I do not believe I was ever officially
enrolled into the army. If someone was
to look up my name and information of enlistment, I highly doubt there are
records. If there are any records, they
will be somewhere that the regular army information is not.
What I did during this heinous war was not something that
you just slap down in a file somewhere and wait for it to be found. I do not believe any sensible person would
believe the facility ever existed, let alone so reading the files on paranormal doctors seems unlikely. I
worked with supernatural individuals in a place that should never have existed. The information is classified at best. Besides, it appears that whoever authorized
and oversaw the facility has many powerful and frightening enemies. Such enemies entered the place that I had
been prisoner and laid waste to it. I
can only assume that headquarters and records keeping met the same fate.
Which leads me to the second part of this powerful declaration;
I am now under the command of a vampire.
I do not think he would appreciate the way that I have
worded it, but I am not sure how else to phrase it. I am not precisely his captive, as he claims
I am free to go, and yet he does not appear to be willing to let me go. Moreover, where would I go if he were to shoo
me away?
We are currently somewhere in Greece, but since I am
unfamiliar with the country, I am not certain as to where. He claims this is a ‘safe house’ and that no
one will inquire about me or where I have come from. I do not speak, keep my head down, and do not
look at others as he speaks to them.
Mainly I keep to myself, locked away in a bed chambers, drinking to my
sorrows, and using any type of herbal remedy that he might let me touch.
I just want to forget where I have been for the past few
years. Perhaps I also want to forget the
past few days and how beautiful this vampire’s eyes are.
I do not believe German is his strong suit and so I do not
fear him reading you, Journal. Besides,
he is oddly gentlemanly with me, despite his obvious feral nature, and he
treats me with more respect than I deserve.
He gives me space, asks about my comfort and makes sure that I eat,
sleep, and bathe regularly.
He confuses me so.
This beautiful vampire erupted into the laboratory like a
volcano of blood, power and death. By
the time he reached where I had barricaded myself away, he was drenched in
blood from the tip of his nose down to his army boots. He held no weapons, indicating he was tearing
people apart with his bare hands. The way
the crimson trickled from his chocolaty flesh sent lightning tingles all
through my body.
Ah yes, you read that correctly, both about the reaction
from my body and about his color.
I had never met an individual of African descent before that
moment. He is short of stature, but his
musculature is Heavenly sculpted. I can
go on and on about the attractiveness of his body and how the creamy darkness
of his skin sends surprising jolts to parts of my body that it should not. However, it is his eyes that hold me. It was his eyes that I could not look away
from when he burst into the room I hid within and stared at me like a midnight snack.
The vampire’s eyes are the most gorgeous shade of honey
amber. They are not quite ‘golden’ but
appear almost like some sort of caramel food item. The irises are like nothing I have ever seen
before and each time he gazes at me, my heart jerks up into my throat before somersaulting down into the pit of my stomach.
In those eyes I see so many things.
There is curiosity, wonder, gentleness, ferocity, hunger, danger,
passion, regret, desire, want, need, wisdom…loneliness.
Then again, perhaps it is only my imagination and desires
that impose those things upon him. I
have only known him a few days, what can I possibly understand about a creature
so powerful and so obviously ancient?
In the facility I stared at him and he stared back at
me. I saw myself lowering him back upon
a slab and undressing him. I wanted to
do so many things to that beautiful body while those honey eyes stared at
me. I wanted to watch different emotions
and pleasures flash through them as I touched him. I am a demented individual. There were bombs going off and the entire
world shook, yet this was what I was thinking.
I think I begged him to kill me. I can’t recall if it was because of what I
did at the facility, or what I was thinking in that moment.
But he didn’t kill me.
Instead, he took me by the hand and led me out. He held me tightly and we ran through hail of
gunfire and falling bombs. He protected
me with his forever life and all I could do was run as fast as I could to keep
up with him.
A bomb came too close and I can’t recall exactly what
happened, but I woke up in terrible pain.
I know he forced his blood into my mouth and soon I was on my feet
again. He saved my life so many times in
the few moments right after he met me.
Why? Why did he save me!? I was part of the facility that did experiments
on his people. Why doesn’t he hate me?! He takes care of me like I am a precious
friend and it’s so maddening!
I remember running down a hill towards a train. He wrapped an arm around my waist and threw
me into the back car. He’s so strong it
gives me shivers. It was dark inside the
train car, but when I tried to sit up I felt something warm press down harshly
against my chest. He had jumped into the
car and landed on top of me. He pushed
me down and breathed against my neck. I
thought he was going to bite me, and in that moment I wanted him to. I wanted him.
His hands roamed against my clothed body and I did not
resist, but just as soon as the touches started, he slid away. I’m not sure why he stopped. Perhaps it was the situation; perhaps he
became disgusted with himself. I do not
blame him. I can’t understand how he can
even look at me, let alone touch me.
So here I am. I am
free of the torment of the facility and I have stepped into a different kind of
torment. Now everywhere I look,
everything I touch, every time I take a breath, my senses are assaulted by this
beautiful vampire that I should not want and I cannot allow myself to
desire. I have no right. Not after all the terrible things I have
done.
I think I need to lie down.
My head is throbbing. Please
excuse me, Journal. Until I have time to
write again.
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