Journal Entry 10

May 12^th, 1943

Another batch of test subjects arrived today.  There was a male and a female.  They did not appear to be older than their twenties.  I attempted to interview the two of them, but my normal routine was interrupted.  

In addition to the two vampires, a woman was presented to me.  I was told her name was Elsa Schicksal and that she is an accomplished nurse and paranormal researcher.  I was not sure what to make of this development.

Nurse Schicksal, who insists upon being called ‘Nurse Elsa’ or just ‘Nurse E,’ is small in stature and incredibly thin.  She wears her nurse’s attire short to the point her garter belt shows in an inappropriate fashion.  Her hair is golden blond, falling in rolling curls, and her eyes are as green as emerald gemstones.

She walks with a flirtatious movement of slender hips and the way she bends is more like a harlot than any nurse I have ever known.  I was certain we were to have problems at first, but the soldiers morale has bolstered with her presence and after an incident with a man taking liberties with her rear; I was surprised at how well she handles herself physically.

I want to hate her, but I am afraid that I cannot.  E is chatty, humorous and warm.  She makes me feel less like a monstrous criminal hostage and more like a man again.

In order to test her skills, I had E join me in the operating room.  It was the most sublime experience.  As a nurse, I have not had finer assisting me.  She could anticipate my every move without me needing to speak.  Her skill with scissors is like poetry and I dare say she did not even break a sweat.  I do not know where she came from, but I am glad to have her here.  I can only hope that the terrible weight of this place does not change her the way that it has changed me.

After the day’s tasks were done, E joined me for a drink.  I found my eyes wandering to her thighs every time she switched position in her chair.  It is odd.  I have never been attracted to a woman before.

E is feminine and yet there is something decidedly masculine in the way she conducts herself.  She holds herself high and on the same level as the men around her.  She has pride in her work and pride in her appearance, despite how it might be inappropriate.  It is only her first day and she has been in two arguments with men in the facility, one ending with her punching a soldier in the face and sending him flying over a table.

Then there is her physical appearance…

Though I hate to be crude, she’s ‘flat’ as some of the other men say.  E is slender in the front, though her thighs and rear have some roundness that gives hope for desire.  She is small, but clearly strong.  I like the idea of someone being small and yet able to handle themselves.  She is also tanned.  Her skin is a deep creamy color, as if she spends a lot of time in the sun.  I can see her somewhere near the ocean.  There is this faint scent that for no reason that I can explain, I know is the scent of the sea constantly clinging to her.

I do not know why I am attracted to this woman, but dare I cling to hope?  Is it true that there could possibly be a ‘type’ of woman in the world that I could stomach being with enough to marry, settle down, and have a family?

I know it to be selfish to think of such things.  Especially after I have spent the past two years in this Hellish place, but the only thing keeping my humanity intact is the belief that my parents made it out of Europe alive.  Surely they would want me to continue on once this war is over and society tries to restore balance.

Whatever extreme fantasies I might have—  E and I had a few nightcaps and laughed until it was well after ‘Lights Out.’  It was nice and for the first time that I can ever remember; I feel as if I have a friend in this world.