October 1st, 1943
I no longer have hope for some fairy tale ending with my
good friend E. Though the months that we
have spent side-by-side in this terrible place have flown by, they have also taken
their toll. I’m not sure when it
happened, but I do recall seeing E’s smile beginning to falter at times and a
strange manic glint in those emerald eyes.
I have felt it coming, though I wanted to deny such whimsies.
This place is not good for E, just like it is
not good for anyone.
I confronted E about the change in his demeanor. I told him that I was worried and I did not
wish to see his dazzling smile fade and turn jaded or twisted the way I have
seen my own expression change since I have been here. The exchange was odd. E hugged me, pressing my face down into his
soft golden hair. He said not a word,
merely kept hugging me before pulling away and rushing off. I did not see him again until later in the
evening.
I wanted to have dinner with him, the way that we always
did. However, E did not meet me in my
quarters. I left in search of him, and
it took some time to locate that bubbly blond.
When I did locate him, I was shocked at what I found. I’m not sure if I should describe it. Though this journal never leaves my hands,
should someone ever manage to get it from me, E’s life could be in danger. I suppose it matters not, if the news of the
war holds any truth. We will all be up
to our necks in gunfire soon enough.
When I happened upon E, he was at the loading area of the
facility. There is a sort of ‘disposal’ system
that we use. When our specimens become
of little use, we simply throw them away, like so much garbage, but E was not
throwing away garbage. I found my
beloved friend, releasing our supernatural prisoners. I was shocked, and somewhat relieved. Then I became afraid. I thought for certain that the creatures
would attack my friend the moment they found freedom.
I rushed to his side, intent on using my own body as a
shield against flesh eating monsters. E
placed his hand upon my shoulder and gently moved me to the side. He spoke to the creatures, telling them of
where they should go and which roads were clear to take. Then they left,
thanking him. I stared in shock at my
friend who merely smiled before taking my hand.
He pulled me back inside with promises of an explanation.
As we sat in my quarters with food between us, mostly
untouched, he explained that he came here with the intent of setting as many
people free as he could. He regarded our
prisoners with warmth and kindness, speaking of them like I might speak of a
colleague or a human child. He did not
speak using ‘it’ or ‘them’ or ‘those things’ as oft was custom. It kept us detached and kept us in the
mindset that these were things and
not people. It turned my stomach to hear
my closest and dearest, perhaps only,
friend speak in such a way. I wondered
silently at what fiend might have corrupted his mind and twisted him to their
side.
Then, once he finished he reached out to touch my cheek and
dropped a bomb in my lap. With that
loving smile I had come to adore, E explained that he was not human.
I could not believe the declaration at first. I was in complete shock and denial. I believe I firmly disagreed with him and
even told him that he was mistaken. How
silly of me to tell a man to his face that he is not who and what he truly
is. However, E was patient,
sliding arms around my shoulders and holding me, even as I grew angry and tried
to shove him away. I grew angry
as the realization set in. I accused him
of deceiving me and using me to his own ends.
Still, he reached for me, only smiling and letting me be filled with
rage.
My eyes filled with tears and I sobbed angrily, my stomach
turning in knots. The world spun and I
nearly wretched. I tumbled to the floor
and screamed at him, demanding to know of anything he’d ever said to me was the
truth. He held my head to his chest and petted
me, saying that he loved me as he always had and that he never lied to me, that
he would never lie to me. He told me
that he came not only to free prisoners, but to watch over me. He said he knew I hated it here and that I
had considered the same course of action.
He said, and this hit me so hard I almost blacked out, that
he knew I had once met a vampire when I was a boy, and that I had momentarily
fancied him.
I recalled that top-hatted figure, but that time and place
seemed so far away. I can barely
remember his face. I think I sketched
him in you, Journal. I shall have to
flip through your pages and look up his face.
I never want to forget my first ‘crush.’
Be that as it may. He
told me that my Destiny was forever intertwined with vampires and that one day
I would meet a vampire that would steal the very breath from my lungs. I do not believe in Fate or Destiny. I am a man of science and medicine. Still, E knows an awful lot about me. I know that supernatural creatures are real
and some of their powers are astonishing.
I will still angry, hurt, confused and sick of heart. He held me and after a while I leaned up and
kissed him, far harder than I intended.
Before I realized what I was doing, I was assaulting his lips to the
point of bruising. He relented to my
every demanding movement. I picked E up
off the floor and carried him to the examination table that I keep in my
room.
Dear Journal, the perverse things
I did to that beautiful body makes it difficult for me to recant the tale. My hands are still trembling.
I used my belt to tie E’s hands above his head, and then put
his dainty feet up in stirrups. He gave
no resistance. I can only hope in my
heart that were he to show protest that I would have let him go.
I stripped him to his lacy underthings and then things
became a blur.
My ‘job’ at this depraved
laboratory is to take a supernatural creature’s body to the very brink and
beyond. I am to the test them and see
how much pain they can take before they break.
I did not wish to do this to E.
My intent was to see how much pleasure I could induce before it was too
much. He served as a particularly
difficult subject.
I used various instruments at my disposal. I touched and teased from one end of that luscious
body to the other. I can still hear the
whines, moans and cries echoing inside my mind.
At one point, for no reason that I can ascertain, I held a
scalpel to his cheek, watching the way it shined and gleamed on that dark
skin. His emerald eyes were so beautiful
and the emotions inside of them, a mixture between cautious curiosity and drunken
lust made my trousers so tight I could barely walk. And then, I simply nicked him right above the
nipple.
The blood that flowed from that tiny wound was as silver as
Mercury. I stared at it as a single
drop wormed its way out of his flesh and then the mark disappeared. Before the droplet could escape, I bent my
head and licked it up. I cannot fathom,
but it tasted like chocolate, sunshine, and an orgasm.
I can barely recall the rest. I did not stop until he passed out and the front
of my trousers was wet. That is correct,
Journal; like some twisted mad scientist, I kept my clothes on the entire
time. I was in control of the situation
and I liked it that way. I am surely not
proud of what I did, but when all was said and done I collected E carefully
from the examination table, took him to a bath and gently washed him.
He awoke in the tub and smiled up at me. He touched my cheek and told me that he would
love me forever. I kissed his brow, but
could not speak. I washed him as
tenderly as I could and then put him into my bed. I spoon fed him dinner and then tucked him in
to sleep. When I was certain he was
comfortable and sleeping, I went to take a shower and now I am here, recounting
this utterly confusing day.
I know not what tomorrow may bring, Journal, all I know is
that I am so emotionally exhausted that I can think of nothing more than to
curl up with E and rest. Do not misunderstand. E and I are not ‘in love’ and I know we shall
never be. Whatever transpired today, I
think he meant for it to happen. E did
not just come here to set all those supernatural creatures free from their
cages.
E came here to set me free.
Until I can write again Journal,
Farewell.
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